New Years Resolutions

Warning

You are entering a sarcastic zone. If you are one of those people that can find something positive about the death of Bambi's mother you are in the wrong place. This page may show shades of sarcastic views.

Awe yes here we are a day when I lose a lot of my stress. You see today is the day you realize that you have toasted most of your New Years Day resolutions. Personally I think any resolution that lasts over a week is way too much to expect of anybody and especially if it has anything to do with losing weight. I'm more into immediate gratification. That's why this year my first resolution was to wake up the next day. Yes I walked around all day with a smile on my face knowing I was already one for one. I'm also a firm believer that more chances at gratification are better than fewer. For example rather than have a resolution to lose thirty pounds set 30 resolutions to lose one pound, not only is it an easier goal, it offers the chance of partial completion not to mention you get to celebrate thirty times instead of one. Sheer Genius.

So here we are it's the beginning of January and the carnage begins. From Jan 1st to April 15th is the official tax season. A time for the government to express their desire to see you die of a heart attack but not until they have collected your soul.

There are some new tax forms this year that you may have seen. With the first tax form it is simply one line, some instructions and it can be filled out with just your W2s. It basically says how much did you make which is the blank you fill in and then the instructions, send it in. Then another one that is making headway this year includes a large medical blood vile and the following instructions: In case we left any please extract it and send it in. Another allows you to pledge your children's servitude online to settle your taxes and finally one giving the government permission to take your soul as partial payment.

Also as a public service announcement you need to be aware that some businesses for reasons unknown have been issuing their W2s prior to the 31st of January. Although legal, science has been unable to prove what would cause a company to do this voluntarily. Homeland Security has claimed it to be an act of terror. If you find yourself receiving yours early you may want to put it in a sealed envelope and mark it do not open until January 31st so as not to be a part of this kind of lunacy.

H and R Block will be running Mourning Therapy classes this year to help ease the pain of the new tax laws and for suicide prevention. If you have any questions you can contact the tax assistance hotline blog at http://www.yourkiddingrightasifwecare.com/