It's a Birthday!

It's Zach's Birthday!

Yes this weekend my Grandson turns 3 and it is a special day.  You see grandchildren are extremely special and an important tool.  They are a Grandparents only method of revenge on their children.  Yes it's true you can feed them full of candy and sugar, buy them noisy toys, keep them up all night and then send them home.  This is an excellent form of revenge for what your children put you through as they grew up.  I realize one night of their discomfort does not make up for the many sleepless nights they put us through during their teenage years but it does give an extreme sense of fair play. 

That being said you have to also watch out for your Grandchildren.  As much as they can be a weapon of revenge they can also be used against you.  You see most US Strategists have learned that Grandchildren have an uncanny ability for mind control over Grandparents.  I have seen ex Navy Seals reduced to zombies by a 2 year old in ice cream store.  Professional weight lifters in front of hospital windows making unidentifiable noises at the new grandchild on the other side. 

It doesn't take long for parents to realize this and use it against you.  The conversation goes something like this, " Dad your Grandson would like you to build an addition on your house so they can have a toy room, your Grandson would really like that."  With a comment like that an otherwise sane man will suddenly start building an addition he can't afford just for the joy on the face of his Grandchild with a toy room.  This weapon can be used to promote weight loss, change clothing styles, or purchase new larger cars. 

Modern Scientists have been trying to understand this method of mind control but as of this writing have been unable to crack the secret.  It has been suggested that personal interrogation in the military be conducted by Grandchildren as there would be no defense against it.  I personally believe if we could find Bin Ladens Grandchildren we could convince him to surrender overnight. 

That being said Saturday is a special day for this Grandparent.  So Zach have a great birthday and your Dad let me know that you would like me to lose 150 pounds by the 4th of July and that you would really like it if I bought Hawaii.  I'll see what I can do and throw in a pony.